Mrs. Serial Killer (movie review)

*Mrs. Serial Killer - An Obituary 🙏🏻* *Disclaimer* : All those involved in making of this film, should forgive me and instead hold my namesake *Yo responsible* for makibg me watch review this movie. Can we all stand up and observe a 1.06 min (movie is 106 min) silence for all the brave hearts who sat through this entire movie ? Done ? Ok, so let me start with the good part of the movie first The film has no songs. *Pssst* ... are you folks still here ? What are you waiting for ? Already told you all ... The good part is over. *Story ?* Nah ... Director, Producer, Writer does not believe in narratives. (Wonder why Shirish Kunder did not snap up the lead role as well, while he was at it) .. *Acting ?* They did not even let Manoj Vajpayee act. I think that he was given some kind of 'cinematic freedom' to try and bring some method to the madness. He thrives as a child would, when given an empty canvas, lots of paint and no one to supervise. *Eye candy ?* The director who can't get Jacqualine or Katrina (not in the movie), look like an oasis is in the wrong profession. One of the front runners for "I got that wrong but hate to admit it" will go to Amir Khan. You, the audience and Zayn Marie are all wondering ..... what did I do to deserve this ! Zayn who ? Amir's very own niece whom he launched in this movie. I dutifully couriered her a box of scented tissues. (Toilet rolls were out of stock) 😜 I sit now as numb as I was when I finished watching "it". Henceforth, an unidentified occurrence lasting just less than 2 hours would be referred as IT, as it did not resemble anything that I have seen or heard before. I wouldn't know where to start, as the end is the beginning and the beginning is the end. I know that this is the Beginning OF The End ! Trust me, I tried my best to salvage a few credits. I was already yawning within 5 mins of IT and before I could stifle my yawn, the engine had propelled the plot. At the end of IT, I thought maybe I missed something or dozed off and to give a fair chance, I watched the 1st 32 mins again. So then I did what all self respecting netizens do. Go to Wikipedia. 1st line in Wikipedia is (and I kid you not) *Mrs. Serial Killer* also spelt as *Mrs Serial Killer* .. yes, I too rubbed my eyes and tried reading it 3 more times. Reading any further would be an insult to Wiki sirji. My conspiracy theory in favour of the crew was also shot down with the knowledge that IT was launched on 14th April and released on 1st May. So no excuses about hurried work to beat the countdown or working in silos etc. Next up was the trailer. Now a trailer is like an advt. If your advt is good, you can be assured of an initial good response. So they did try to warn us. So much so that even JF shrieks "You don't know torture until I have shown it to you ". But no one can help you if you already decided to jump off the cliff. Huh ? Story? Aren't you all the hideous ones who derive pleasure from knowing the pain the other person has been subjected to? 👻 MV - Manoj Vajpayee JF - Jacqueline MR - Mohit Raina ZM - Zayn Marie So JF's hubby MV is going on a tour (but why ? He is back the next day). In comes a cop (MR) in the dead of the same night, fixes himself a drink, collects some cig butts (to be placed at the crime scene as evidence) in front of his wife and claims that MV is a serial killer. Wait .... which killings ? Who's dead ? Serial what ? Oh ... btw, this cop is an ex-boyfriend. Oh dear ! Next day, a junior cop leads a convoy of 20+ cars to a run down huge property which belongs to the doctor. Doctor ?🤔 Oh Dr. MV. How silly of me. Armed with mobile torch lights, the entire village walks into the basement to check on 6 foetus and dead bodies. The crime story lover in me, wept uncontrollably as the crime scene was getting contaminated. No one to blame but myself for hoping for that level of detailing. The doc is arrested and the entire village is against the doc. Bail is rejected. So Darshan Jhaveri, trying his best to act like devilishly crooked defense lawyer but carrying the load of a comical face combined with being a stereotypical docile hubby, falls flat. So DJs only advise is that since MV is in jail if another similar murder is done, then it can be assumed that the serial killer is still roaming free. Profile candidate has to be unwed pregnant girl, Zayn Marie fitting the bill here. JF takes it upon her to be the serial killer and hence the name Mrs. Serial Killer. How clever ! Maybe she had not heard of hired thugs/killers. Everyone just ambles through IT. Logic is an unknown commodity. The villagers are pro doc and anti cop once they get a sense that the serial killer is still out there. Nice. The only dialogue I liked was when MV tells JF, don't keep calling me Joy Joy Joy !! Call me Mritunjoy. Am not a Fu****g ice-cream 😝😝 A royal salute to producer & director for leaving a scope for a sequel to this epic. *Ratings :* No negative stars were available at the time of going to the press. 0* would be unfair to * as well as 0. *Yogi The Zen says.* Other methods of torture recommended

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

WHY RIP IS NOT THE CORRECT FORM OF CONDOLENCE TO A HINDU FAMILY

WHY RIP IS NOT THE CORRECT FORM OF CONDOLENCE TO A HINDU FAMILY R.I.P means Rest in Peace- In Christianity, this short epitaph signifies wishing rest and peace to someone who has died. Christians bury the dead ones and the soul rests in peace in that grave until the judgment day arrives. On the Judgment day, the Lord will decide who goes where- Heaven or Hell. They believe that on the Judgment day the dead will rise again. Until that time, the soul has to remain inside that coffin. Hence the blessing Rest In Peace (until the judgement day)  Now, Hinduism does not have any concept such as that of the rising of dead ones. Hinduism believes in reincarnation. It says that the cycle of birth and death are governed by the Karma of individuals. The deceased individual would take another birth based upon the Karma of this life. So there is no rest and hence, the concept of RIP is not valid in Hinduism. Hinduism believes in Moksha that is liberation- Liberation from the endless cycles of bi...
Read more
Image
  From rented bicycles to traffic jams Born in the 70s but really speaking, I grew up in the 80s. Back then, having a bicycle was rare. We rented them, by the hour. We paid a few Rupees paise (damn I lived in the age of paisa !!) 50 paise for the hour was it ?? Hop on and the moment your feet touched the pedals, you knew you were in a race against the clock. That thrill of pedalling like mad, not because you were fit or competitive but because your 60 minutes were ticking away ? Priceless. Fast-forward to today :  Nobody rents bicycles. Instead, everyone has at least two cars, three bikes and maybe even a scooter for the maid.  Yet, we still complain about “No Parking.” Zen irony, isn’t it? The more we accumulate, the more space we lose. Funny how abundance creates problems that scarcity never had. The roads we cycled on were narrow, sometimes barely wide enough for a bullock cart and a bus to squeeze past each other. But we managed. Today, the roads are six...
Read more
Image
  Friendship is easy when the drinks are flowing. The real test is when the bills arrive Your struggles have a way of filtering your contact list better than any app. There is this very strange thing about friendship. When life is good, when you are winning, earning, laughing, your phone never stops buzzing. Everyone wants a piece of your sunshine. Drinks flow, pictures click, promises are made. You think you have built your tribe. Then life does the unexpected. You lose your job, relationships fray or success slips through your fingers. That’s when the crowd thins. The people who called themselves friends suddenly find new priorities. The ones who said “Call anytime, let’s catch up” disappear like a flicker. No calls. No “What happened?”.  They don’t try to understand.  They just… disappear. Your struggle doesn’t suit their story. So, the real test isn’t in your best days. It’s when the lights go out. When failure knocks. When you are broke, sick or simply not ...
Read more